Enter in. My creative journey into the heavenliness, into the heart of Love, where intimacy with my King overflows in ministry, mercy, missions, miracles, music, and mysteries.

"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:15

Monday, October 19, 2015

Encounters #5: Slaying the Dragon

Sometimes I don’t understand all the visions and the emotions that I am encountering.  I have been having a few days of spiritual warfare, but I believe I am just going to another level of glory and freedom.  Sometimes that can feel like there is resistance in the spirit but it's actually just the resistance of a spiritual muscle getting stronger so to speak!  

Tonight I had a vision.  I was in a place with a small lake that was surrounded by tall trees on all sides.   There was a huge giant dragon in the vision.  I had a sword in my hand and as the dragon roared fire, I could also feel my spirit man roaring back.   I had this fight inside of me like this dragon could not defeat me.  Now, the dragon was like 100x bigger than me, and I thought to myself how am I going to kill him with this tiny sword.  I thought about David and Goliath.  Then I started to sing “This is my father’s world. “  Proclaiming and declaring Him as the sovereign King, as the creator of all things, including that dragon, as the One who gets the last word.  God began to rain down fire.  The fire burned everything in the whole scene.  The trees and the ground were burned dry.  The dragon was burned and was drowned and destroyed in the lake.  Everything was black and burned and so quiet.  It was like the aftermath of a storm, but it was so peaceful.  I remember thinking it was a wasteland.  I didn’t want anything to change.  I just wanted to stay in that place.  I felt relieved, peaceful, safe, close to God, and I was enjoying the stillness of everything around being just blackened by fire.  It stayed that way for a long time but then a faint light started to show like the light of the dawn.  The light became brighter and things started to slowly come to life.  Then faster and faster until there was new life everywhere and things were growing and forming and blooming and animals were moving and making sounds and there was LIFE everywhere.  Then Jesus came.  He flew over the lake where the dragon had been and He started spinning so fast with bright light shining out all around.  He is so powerful.  He stayed there for a while just spinning supernaturally fast and then He shot up to the sky and exploded like a huge white supernova.  He stayed there in the sky but His light from the explosion started to rain down.  It was raining everywhere all through that place like raining bars of light everywhere.  He started to roar over that whole place, “I will have my full reward”  He kept roaring there and the light kept raining down everywhere.  I didn’t know what else He wanted to do and I slowly came out of the vision. 

At some point in the vision,  in the natural I was singing from my spirit.  I was singing what I was seeing but without words.  Just playing my keyboard and singing…and I remember thinking if I ever sang and played like this in a worship leading fashion people would not catch it or people would not receive it but the Lord said.  This is who you are.  I have given you something, a new sound, to release.  I believe the Lord wants to release a new kind of worship, a creative worship, where we are encountering Him in the Spirit realm and where we are just expressing whatever is happening in the spirit realm from our spirits using words or no words.  Freedom.  Where the Spirit of the Lord is… there is freedom. 


After the vision, I wept with relief and it was just a very intense vision. 


I wrote this several days ago and wanted to process it more before I shared it on my blog.  After this vision, a heaviness and burden I had been carrying was immediately gone and never came back.  I am in a battle right now over my destiny and identity.  I am pressing in and contending for the fullness of my creativity and calling.  The Lord is fighting for me and this is why He keeps roaring in my visions.  He is roaring over my destiny.  He is contending for me.  He is so good and so faithful.  I am going into a new and higher level of freedom, revelation, intimacy, relationship, walking in my identity and destiny and it is AWESOME!  I am in a place I have never been in my entire life and it is feeling good.  I can still feel the warfare on some days and the tension of the pull from one place to the next and I can't wait FOR THE FULLNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Encounter #4: Breaking Shame.

This evening I was feeling really gross.  I had a conflict with a close friend last night and that usually really knocks me off balance when that happens.  I have felt unsettled and unresolved since we haven't resolved things yet.  Consequently I stress ate and watched a lot of Netflix today and was generally feeling really not so great about myself.  I know the conflict was partially my issues and I was feeling some shame about the whole situation.  This is honestly just part of life and so I wanted to write this blog post just to show in a very small part how the Lord can minister to us in these moments and bring us back to a higher joy level.

I finally had enough and decided to worship.

I sat down at my keyboard and started to worship.  I went to my garden close to the river that flows down from the throne.  There was a really tall female angel there.  I was laying down on my face in the grass feeling the residue of shame and the angel was there waving her huge wings very slowly over me.  Her eyes and face were full of light and full of acceptance and joy.  She was smiling softly and I could feel that there was no condemnation over me.  She ministered to me and I was finally able to standup.  As I was standing it began raining and the rain was washing over my face, washing and cleansing and me.  It just kept washing and washing over me.  I felt better and decided to go up to the throne room.  As I flew up to the throne room,  I could feel kind of a strength and joy begin to return.  I started to worship and danced before my Father on His throne.  As I danced I could feel strength rising up and my spirit beginning to lift and be set free from what I had been carrying.

Since the issue I am having in the natural is still not resolved, my spirit is not completely at peace...but I am thankful for this time of ministry in the presence of the Lord and His ministering angel.  My spirit is definitely lighter than it was before.

Heaven is our home.


Hebrews 1:14, Isaiah 45:8, Hebrews 4:15-16

Monday, October 5, 2015

Encounters #3: The healing fountain of light.

Tonight the Lord has been speaking to me some about how we are spiritual beings.  We are spiritual beings having an earthly human experience, but before we were on this Earth we were spiritual beings.  We have come down to make known the glory, the truth, the love of God in the world... To shine His light, to learn, to love and to be loved.

Tonight I went to the sea of glass before the throne of my Father and I laid down in brokenness.  I wanted to release all my frustration, my pain, my anxiety, my angst.  I have been feeling frustrated about not being more manifested in certain areas of my life like creativity, relationships, romance, etc.  I just laid there feeling and releasing...letting it all go.

I felt led into a different place and as I went I came to a golden castle.  The castle was golden but made of light.  I crossed a golden pond and went inside the castle.  As I stepped inside, I was wearing a golden cloak, a tiara, and holding a torch, and a scepter.  I walked past a dining table where some heavenly creatures haha were sitting and eating.  Everything was golden and made of light.  They were surprised to see me there and murmured wondering how I had gotten there.  I commented saying that this was my home and I was a citizen of heaven.  They kind of marveled.  I walked past them into a kitchen area and in the kitchen was a big golden fountain of water and light.  It was beautiful.  I took off my cloak and set down the things I was holding and began to drink cupping the water with my hands.  I washed my face and enjoyed this heavenly water and fountain.  I removed everything and stepped into the fountain.  The light, the water, the vibrations flowed through me into my core and all the negative emotions were released from my body until there was only peace.  I stayed there for a long time.  At least half an hour.  Just letting the water, the vibrations go into my stomach.  In the natural I have digestive issues and I could feel that this water was bringing healing to me.  I saw a golden ball of light go into my stomach.  I stayed there just basking and bathing in this fountain for a very long time.

Another part of me who is a warrior came into the house.  He laid down his armor and He also got into the fountain.  He began to weep there as He felt such a sweet release and peace in this glorious presence of healing and love.  I was not in touch with the emotion but I was only seeing him experience this and understood what he was feeling.  He stayed in the fountain.

I started to leave the house but I decided to stay.  I was in a robe and slippers as if I was at a spa and I sat down at the table in front of the fountain and decided to stay there resting and drinking a tall glass of water from the fountain.

Now, all of this may sound strange but it was a spiritual encounter that was simply activated by my imagination.  My spirit and soul was receiving something from this heavenly place.  I believe I was receiving some degree of healing in both my soul and my body from Jesus who was this fountain of Living Water.  Thank You Holy Spirit for leading me to this golden castle of light and healing.  I bless You and thank You.  I believe You are doing a great work in my life and You are healing me, setting me free, and walking with me towards the manifestation of my destiny in You as You created me to be!  I worship You and thank You.


For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light. Psalm 36:9

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Encounters #2: One with Christ.

Tonight I met with Jesus in my garden.  Its a spiritual place.  A garden which is the garden of my heart which is also in heaven.  The garden is very very big with many things in it like a waterfall and a river and above the waterfall the throne room.  There is a small part of the garden that is circular and there are round stone benches all around it where I sometimes sit and talk with Jesus.  Tonight I sat and talked with Him.  I was telling Him about my loneliness and my longing for deeper connections, for deeper friendships and relationships, and for a spouse.  To be intimately known and loved.  As I spoke about this, He did remind me of His deep love for me.  He reminded me that I am one with Him.  Since I am one with Him, I actually stepped inside of His body.  I could feel love pour from His heart into my chest and into my belly, the core of my soul.  His love for me was like fire.  I began to dance.  I began to dance the way that I always dance except for that my spirit was still inside of His body.  I danced there for a few minutes and enjoyed the way it felt to be "hidden in Christ".  Then Jesus began to ascend up higher.  He began to create things with His hands and I was still inside of Him.  He began to fly and it was like flying like Superman...  So high so free so full of joy and exhilaration.  We were in the heavenly bodies of the universe...  Where the planets are stars are.  Jesus  swept His hand and planets formed.  He swept His hand across the darkness and stars and planets were strung up like Christmas lights.  His love for me began to roar, to vibrate, to over power the entire universe.  I could feel it and every part of the universe could feel it.  Every being in the universe was aware of His love, His passion, His tenacity for me and for every one of His sons and daughters.


But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. 1 Cor 16:17

Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Encounters #1: Dancing on the water


It was our usual place.  Not far from the horizon line.  Barefoot in the middle of the ocean on top of the water as the sun painted tropical dusk through the sky.  We didn’t just walk on the water.  We danced.  We always dance.  Face to face, heart to heart, eye to eye, cheek to cheek.  He whispers to me of His goodness... His kindness. 



As I looked into His eyes tonight, I marveled.  This man.  He knows me inside and out.  He knows me better than I know myself.  Every detail.  We don’t always speak with words.  He usually just reads my mind.  He laughed a little and said, “I made you.  Of course I know you.”  “Thank you for making me”, I said.  With my cheek next to His, I could feel his hair, his beard as He whispered into my ear…“I was so happy to make you” He said.  The words went deep down in my heart.  When He fashioned me He put purpose, creativity, song, destiny, desire, fire, so many good things inside of me.  He dreamed a joyful dream when He dreamed of me.  When He formed me and fashioned me in the secret place before the foundations of the world.  

Tonight His eyes were so vivid.  So clear.  So steady.  Maybe clearer than they have ever been before.  My capacity for Him is growing.  I can see His eyes more clearly now. 

We danced there on the water.  Heaven was so open.  The drums pounded and I could feel the tribal dance.  I danced and beat the water and splashed and threw buckets of water at Jesus.  We played and laughed there.  He invited me to go down deeper under the water.  I’m usually scared to go under the water.  I have before but I’m usually cringing when I do and I don’t like to stay very long.  There are so many creepy things down there….haha.  For a while we would go down and come up, just a little close to the surface.  Then we went deep down to the bottom.  He picked up a gold coin and brought it up for me.  Then something happened.  I went under the water with Him and this heavenly light came and I was so at peace under the water for the first time ever.  I swam and spun around and felt so free under the water with the beautiful light all around.  Jesus was right next to me.  I could breathe under the water too.   I just enjoyed the freedom, the peace, under the water with Jesus.  Suddenly I started moving faster.  With intention but not aware of where I was going.  I was moving faster than I could swim but without effort.  I was basically flying through the water.  I didn’t know where I was going.  Jesus stayed behind me.  I wondered to myself where I was going.  Then there He was.  Father God.  On His throne under the water.  It was an intimate moment.  Just Him and me there.  He spoke to me by name.  “Rebecca, you are very special.  When I created you, I put greatness inside of you.” As He said greatness, He roared it and it echoed through the entire ocean.  He continued roaring and said, “I will get my full reward.”  As He roared over me, I began to sob.  He was fierce and He was angry at what had tried to hold me back.  I knew as He was roaring He was speaking not only to my heart but also to every power, principality, and spiritual force in the heavenly realms and in the realm of that water where we were.  He was roaring over my fear, over my insecurity, over my destiny, over the fullness of my identity being restored.  He is a jealous God, a fierce protector and defender.  A good good Father. 



When I came up out of the water, I had super strength.  My hair was wet and I was dressed in like white tribal dance clothes.  I danced wildly and flew and I could kick and jump so high.  My spirit had been strengthened by the water.  

Those SYTYCD people ....got nothing on my spirit dancer. haha.

At some point, I went up, I flew up in to the heavens.  I joined with a flying flock of angels. They were flying very fast and in perfect sync with one another.  Somehow I had tagged on.  As we were flying, I tried to focus on their faces.  They were so happy and full of joy.  They were laughing with each other at how wild the flight was and how much fun it was.  They were flying because the Father was so so good.  Haha.  They were rejoicing because of His goodness! 

I saw the Father dancing in the throne room.  He was dancing as I worshipped.  As I sang, “You made a way” He was passionately dancing.  He is passionate to see His bride enter in, to step into the heavenly places.  He bought access for us by the blood of Jesus.  He bought it with His blood, His life, His Crucifixion.  May He get His full reward and may we take hold of and use the free ticket He bought for us on the cross.  May we enter in and commune with our Beloved. 

For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus  Ephesians 1:20

Saturday, July 18, 2015

PAIN

We've all been there.  Those excruciating moments in life.  Those times when your thoughts and heart seem to be constantly racing.  It seems like you can't get the scenes and conversations out of your head.  You can't sleep or eat normally.  Those moments when you're not sure if you really can or want to ...go on.  Loss.  Disappointment.  Shock.  Abandonment.  Rejection.  Grief.  Those seasons where you just have to put one foot in front of the other and keep walking.  Keep breathing.  Keep living.  Feel what you feel and just keep going.  Keep pushing through.  Keep reminding yourself that this too shall pass.

Sometimes its due to poor decisions but sometimes its just LIFE!  We take risks and sometimes we lose.  We have faith in something we think is secure and suddenly it gets ripped out from under us.  Whatever the case, its leads to the ultimate place of PAIN.

Pain is not a pretty place to be in.  Its hard.  Its...well painful.  The stages of grief are universal and the hardest part of the experience of humanity.

Its the choices we make though that matter.  In those dark pits of despair and pain, how do we cope and what or who do we choose to help us?

I'll never forget going taking an African mother to the hospital to collect the body of her 6 year old daughter who had just passed away.  We went to pray over the girl in hopes of resurrection but no change came of our prayers.  The mother walked out of the hospital towards the car with her hands raised high and tears pouring down her face singing a song to God that said "if you had not been with me, I never would have made it".  Watching her strength in that moment was one of the most incredible things I have ever witnessed in my life and I'll never forget it.

Ultimately you can't do it alone!  We all need God's help but still its up to you to face it and get THROUGH it.

My Dad says FEAR can be one of 2 things.  Face everything and RUN or Face everything and RECOVER!  The better choice is to face everything in life and if you get hurt along the way, you then have to choose to take the path of recovery.  Its much better than running, because if you run, you still have your fear and all your problems.   In other words its better to have loved (or truly lived) and lost than to never have loved (or lived) ...at all. Then you just recover from the loss.  Simple haha.  Life and love are full of risks and chances...but they are completely worth taking.

I personally do not know how anyone survives those painful moments in life without God though.  He is the only strength I have had to make it through those times.  He is truly the One I have had to lean on and you know what's great is that during my seasons of loss and grief,  my relationship and level of intimacy with Him always always increases.  It has to.  I am forced to lean into His heartbeat and tell Him everything and hear His words back to me.  His words literally become my daily bread that sustains me to take another step.  Another step across the bridge towards recovery and towards the place of returned joy, peace, hope, and light.

I have recently been facing a painful place in my life but God is helping me walk through it in a graceful dance.  Although the dance is sometimes pretty scary, messy, and even ugly.  Still Im dancing with the Lover of my Soul through the fire and that's pretty spectacular.

In a way the place I have been in has felt like exercising and growing a spiritual muscle.  Gathering a resilience that is enabling me to say I know I can face anything life throws at me and recover from it because of my God. Due to my early childhood experience of abandonment, I have always struggled with a fear of abandonment and rejection from friends and relationships and everyone really (except maybe my mom).  Im learning though that I don't actually have to be afraid of this!  Because even if this fear comes true, I can face it and survive it and overcome it with God's help and grace.  I can ...face it and recover.  Not being afraid of it and knowing this truth allows me to open my heart and take chances knowing that no matter what ....I will survive it and I will recover.  That's really powerful.

The place of building a spiritual muscle though can be tough but like an athlete we keep pressing through with our eyes on the prize.  I feel kind of like a gladiator lately who is walking through the fire and not running back and not flinching but pressing and pushing through knowing on the other side he is coming out gold.  In these moments, God often exposes our hearts as well.  We get purified and refined with the fire... which is a really good thing.

I encourage you if you are in the place called PAIN....to reach up to heaven and to face it and recover.   Find an OUTLET and do whatever it takes.  Don't stuff it down because it will come out one way or another!!  If you're compelled to do something as long as it doesn't hurt you or anyone else, then do it.  Scream it out, cry, imagine whoever hurt you (including God) and tell them everything you feel, pummel the pillow, go for a long run, throw things out, go for a long drive, go out into the forest or alone in your car and scream at the top of your lungs, draw our the memories, journal, punch a punching bag, go to counseling every day or every week or whatever you need and DO WHATEVER IT TAKES to recover.  YOU WILL RECOVER!!!!!!!!!!!!

But whatever you do in these tender sacred exposed moments of life, don't turn to anything that will cause you or others harm and pain.  It can destroy your life and the lives of those you love.  Get some help before you do that!

Our God is so good.  He is with us through every up and every down.  He never leaves us or forsakes us.  He is a faithful friend who sticks closer than a brother.  He is Our Maker, Savior, Lover, and Perfect Father.  Our present help in time of need.  Our Refuge.  Our Healer.  Our hiding place.  Our secret place.  Our strong tower.  Our Defender.  Our King.  Our Lord.  Our Shalom.  Our Joy.  Our Peace.  Our Love.  Our Hope.

He will see you through to cross the bridge of this season.  You will make it.  You will come out stronger.  You will come out gold...and you will live again and keep living.

Grace and peace to you on your journey towards healing and wholeheartedness.





Wednesday, February 25, 2015

LOVE YOURSELF

Lately I have had a lot more time than my usual pace of life (living in a house with 20 kids and managing 25 staff members etc) gives me to reflect and ask myself challenging questions.  

I have of course as a single 31 year old woman been asking myself and God (broken record) questions about my love life!  ;)

One thing the Lord has been teaching me about is loving myself.  I believe you can't really love anyone well unless you love yourself well.  In fact, Im certain the world would be a LOT better off if everyone loved themselves well, took better care of themselves, and made made more loving decisions.  This is not to be confused with being selfish or greedy both of which are unloving to yourself and to others.  

One thing my small group leader and now a pastor used to say is "self care is not selfish", and I wholeheartedly believe this to be true.  

As someone who loves the sacrificial aspect of love, this can be a fine line for me to walk....and quite frankly I do think the Lord kind of emphasizes different aspects of love in different seasons.  In other words, I love to give myself away!  I love this aspect of love.  I love serving and I love feeling God's compassion running through my blood and moving me to act.  Some seasons have been all about that aspect for me but this new season I am in is not.  haha.  It is all about taking care of myself.  Truthfully, you CANNOT take care of anyone else if you don't or can't take care of yourself.  The same as a man cannot take care of a wife and children if he can't even provide and take care of himself ladies  ;)

Okay so...this has led me to ask what does it look like?  What does it look like to love yourself well?  What is the difference in that and being selfish?  The last thing I ever want to be is selfish or self-centered.  

With this in mind, I think we can simply turn to scripture.  Jesus said, "Love your neighbor as yourself".  I know we can't love our neighbor well if we don't first love ourselves well.  

THE LOVE CHAPTER!!!!!!!!  

1 Corinthians 13 says:
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

This is what loves looks like.  

Patient:
We need to be patient with ourselves.  We are learning and growing and doing what we can do with what we have.  Sometimes we will mess up and make mistakes.  Sometimes we will not have enough energy or health to do the tasks of the day.  Sometimes in some areas of our lives we will be like little babies learning to walk.  We will stumble and fall and get back up again.  We should be proud of ourselves for trying and be patient with our progress and growth.  

Kind:
We need to be kind to ourselves.  How many of us have a constant critical berating voice in our heads? You may think you don't but spend a few days consciously listening to that voice and you might be surprised.  We often are too hard and too harsh on ourselves.  Bottom line:  this is sin.  God wants us to be free and not in bondage to our own judgment. We need to repent of a critical spirit and let the Lord set us free.  We should learn to be kind to ourselves.  As that voice pops up, just say I forgive myself for thinking that and I speak the truth over myself that I am dearly loved accepted and I am doing a good job growing in this area.  


Okay that's all for this post:  I will continue this topic next time.  :)

Love Yourself Today, 
Rebecca