Enter in. My creative journey into the heavenliness, into the heart of Love, where intimacy with my King overflows in ministry, mercy, missions, miracles, music, and mysteries.

"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:15

Sunday, November 11, 2012


There are times in life when you come to the end of yourself.  Time where you just have to give up, let go, and let God be God...which is okay.  It's a good thing actually.  You may have noticed I haven't blogged in forever.  I stopped doing a lot of things actually.  I had stopped singing and writing songs...I stopped creating.  I was running and hiding from what I knew was coming...CHANGE.  Change can make us afraid.  We cling so hard to things we might lose holding on for dear life  Things we love or think we love.  Things that bring us comfort and have become familiar.  Things we PUT OUR HOPE IN...and cling to and believe will bring us something we maybe won't find again.  In the process, part of ourself starts to shut down.  We know we are giving in to fear and we hate it.  The thing is usually when the winds of change are blowing and you feel them and you're afraid...  Most often what comes after the change is so much better than what was before.  But it's the season in between that we fear.  The letting go, the shedding of old skin and patterns, the work it takes to renew our mind, the uncomfortable place of not having whatever it was that brought us comfort.

That's the season Im in right now.  I finally let go and embraced change but Im in that in between stage.  Oh it is a good thing trust me...but its not easy.  I had to take my hope out of old patterns and put it back in God.  I am having to renew my mind, deal with my pain and my past once again on another level, and embrace a season of hiddenness and nurture.  Change is not easy, but in the end it is worth it.

How many times has a creepy crawly little caterpillar taken your breath away with its beauty?  Probably not many times if ever.  They are cute and furry maybe but nothing amazing.  They crawl in the dirt and on the ground and are at mercy to whatever might run over or step on them.  They have to cling to the ground.

But then something happens and they get tired of the ground.  They get tired of the dirt and the crawl and they know there is so much more.  There is more to life than their humble and sad existence stuck to the ground.  So they start taking steps big steps...things they have never done in their entire life.  They attach themselves to a branch and start spinning their own silk.  They close themselves off from the world and their old life.  Outside they look motionless and peaceful but inside they are busy at work with an incredible transformation.  Its the stage called chrysalis.  A time when the butterfly is protected from the outside world and cant see anything going on around.  It's a self-focused time to do the work it takes to change.  

It appears to the world almost like nothing is happening but a caterpillar is inside that little shell of silk doing things it has never done before.  Becoming something it has only dreamed about or imagined or sensed it could become.  It is becoming what is was always meant to be...a butterfly.

It's a step of faith to embrace change.  It's putting our hope in God instead of in our own abilities or comforts.  Sometimes to the world it might look crazy or even wrong but that's just because they don't always know what is coming. (most of the time we don't know what's coming either and that's what makes it faith.  We just know there's something more!)  Imaging if you never knew that a caterpillar could become a butterfly.  You might even look at a cocoon and wonder if the caterpillar had died in there...but there is a resurrection and a life after death that is so beautiful and wonderful and free.  The process of change is such a wonderful beautiful thing and while the process is so beautiful sometimes painful and wonderful and enriches life...the end result is heavenly!  BUTTERFLIES!!!!!!  Breathtaking creatures that glorify their Creator.  That fly high...above the ground and dirt never to grovel or crawl again...but soar on the wings of destiny and beauty.  Here's to the process of change, growth, following that little voice that says there's so much more than this.  Here's to the courage to spin our own silk, to close ourselves off from the world, and do the work it takes to become what we were always meant to be.  Free, flying, breathtaking creatures that glorify the very one who dreamed us to life.
We all have areas where we are still caterpillars crawling around afraid of change and turning a deaf ear to the little voice that keeps telling us there's more...and that's okay, and hopefully we will finally reach the point where we get tired of hearing that voice and start listening to it and following it.  What a tragedy it would be to never listen.  To always run and hide and never become a butterfly.   May you know the perfect moment when you are ready and may you embrace it!  By the way...it's usually easier than you think it will be and you will thank yourself one day.

How does one become a butterfly?" she asked pensively.
"You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar."

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